Day 1

Well, weigh-in this morning was 217.2 - not bad. Logging food was not too bad, but I forgot to take my lunch (which she'd told me to do), so I'm starting the week with a lost point. Thank goodness she hasn't taken away my porn, or I wouldn't be able to enjoy this wonderful Bianca Beauchamp portrait.

These posts are probably going to be pretty boring except on the weekends, so my next update will probably be towards the end of the week.

Negotiations and Love Songs

Tomorrow it begins. After some back and forth, I have 4 directives:

1. Track my food intake and ALWAYS do what I'm told if she tells me what (or what not) to eat.
2. Weigh in each morning
3. Walk 5 miles a day
4. Participate with her in an exercise of her choosing once a day

These are on weekdays. On weekends, all the above applies, PLUS I have to do one "Honey Do" activity (like clean out the garage or work on something around the house). Weekends are also flexible where she'll decide if we're just doing something completely different.

All of this is mandatory. Each time I miss something, I loose a point for the current week.

The overall goal is to loose 2 pounds a week. The scale software shows trend lines, so she can see if I'm on that trend (2 pounds a week), even if my weight jumps up and down each day (which it always does). IF I am on (or beating) the trend at the end of each week, she will release me from chastity for the night.

Now comes the tricky part: if I've lost any points, then I am not allowed to come for 4 hours for each point. No guarantees on time she lets me out. No guarantees for when I have to go back in the next morning. So. When I'm let out, we will be having sex - but if I've lost points, then I won't be cumming, at least not right away. She said that if my penalties run out before it's time to go back into chastity, then I will be allowed to masturbate in order to get soft again. But if not, well... tough.

I ended up ordering a CB 6000, which should come in the next week. Until then, I just have to pretend - no touching, no masturbating. If I do, then she's done - the game is over.

Deep breathing. The initial weigh-in is tomorrow morning.

A New Beginning

So - it's been a couple weeks & no takers. My wife and I sat down tonight & had a long discussion about weight loss, motivation, and sex. Both of us agreeing that these things were hard, harder, and fun (in that order). And after a lot of negotiation, she has agreed to be my weight loss mistress. She's not the inventive type, so in lieu of her having all the responsibility of planning and in charge of "excitement" (which I was willing to pay someone for), she's agreed to use a chastity device for the duration.

I have to figure out what to get. I have to learn how to wear it. I have to come up with the reward/punishment plan. She will tweak the plan at her discretion. She will hold the key when I'm ready to stay locked up on her whim. She will deny me, but not actively tease me (though I suspect this may change over time). It's not going to be about me and what I want.

Regardless of having a chastity cage, the program starts on Monday, so I have little time to plan. I am not to masturbate after tomorrow. All sexual relief will be accomplished through intercourse when she unlocks me for sex, probably when I achieve certain goals (which she has to approve). We've agreed that the main goal is to get me down to 190 lbs., with a side goal of better muscle mass and possibly stretching it to 180 lbs., depending on how things are going when I hit 190.

Wow. Said it before - be careful what you wish for. Now to figure out what cage to get... Sex shops around here don't carry them "on the shelf" (this is true most places, I've discovered), so I'll need to order one. Wow

Day 0 - Another 90 days?

So I've had zero luck in finding an avenue to contact Lady Sin. I see in a post near the end of the 60 days that I wondered how long it would take to start craving control again. About 17 months :)

So I'm now looking for someone, amateur or professional, to be my femdom weight loss mistress. It's a part time position :), and I'm willing to pay a weekly or monthly fee via bitcoin. If you are interested, please use the contact form on this page to send me a message. I would expect to take a little time to communicate and plan before beginning.

On the surface, it's pretty simple: I'm currently at about 6 foot 1 inch & 218 lbs. My immediate goal is to get under 200 lbs, with a possible stretch goal of getting to 190 lbs. At the same time, I want to rebuild some muscle and increase my aerobic processing. My main issue (of not being able to do this on my own) is motivation.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting as far as the femdom experience. Well, maybe I do: excitement.  I'm looking for a woman that loves controlling a man (from the anonymous shadows); someone inventive and creative - sensual, adaptable, and communicative. Someone who is willing to work with me, combining her ideas with my goals, fantasies, and limits to keep me highly motivated.  I do have limits, some soft, some hard, which I will be happy to elaborate on (even in this blog) if asked. I would expect any woman taking this project on to have high expectations of me.

Communication would be through anonymous email and I will blog about the entire experience (unless told to keep something confidential). I might consider occasional chat, or even vchat, as long as we do it in a way that guarantees anonymity. I can create an anonymous account to hook in my fitness tracker and wireless scale to (and food log, to boot) that could be used for monitoring my progress. Pay is negotiable and anonymous through bitcoin. Have I said "anonymous" enough yet?

You don't have to have done this before, so if you are interested, create an anonymous email account and contact me through the contact form on this page. If you have questions you'd like me answer on the blog, please post an anonymous comment.

10/12/2015 - A new beginning

Sadly, I've discovered that yourorgasmismine is no longer active. Last summer, my plans fell through to enter into another session with Lady Sin. We had briefly discussed a true weight loss oriented domination, but real life interrupted. Only now, when I'm at a point where I could make it work (and really need it), I find out the option isn't available.

I'm posting this in the hope that Lady Sin had signed up for email notices on blog updates. If you are reading this, I would like to discuss working with you privately, using bitcoin. My email address from our previous sessions is still active & I have sent you a message at the email address you set up back then.

If you no longer have access to that, please message me here

Day 65 - 5/24/2014 5:00 PM

It has been a wild ride. Lady Sin took me through highs and lows.

The good - it is absolutely awesome to have a live person control your masturbation sessions, especially over a prolonged period of time. Lady Sin pays attention and modifies her approach as she learns more about you.

The bad - the only complaint I have about the YourOrgasmIsMine system is the messaging architecture: you can have the messages sent to you forwarded to your email, but you can't reply through email. It would be nice if you could send a message to an email address that routes the message into their system. Having some experience in web application development, I understand the complexity of doing this, so I don't expect it to change.

The results: Overall, I was highly satisfied with my experience. It provided an outlet for me that I really needed. The cost was completely reasonable, and well worth it.

The advice: Communication is key. Lady Sin tells me that many clients hardly communicate at all, making it very difficult for the Domme. The more you tell your Domme about what (and how much) you like and dislike, the better she is able to tailor to your needs.

What's Next: We are currently discussing the possibility of  picking up again in a few weeks, with the specific goal of weight loss for me. My self-imposed plan worked for a while (I lost 10 lbs / 4.5 kg), but then I stalled and have not made any more progress. My short term goal is to lose another 15 lbs / 6.8 kg. I'm still trying to figure out how to obtain and integrate a chastity device into my life, but it's difficult when your wife is not interested. Basically, she'd be cut off from my cock & she doesn't like that. For the sake of me losing weight, she may be willing to do this again, though.

I guess I'm going to have to change the name of the blog...   :)

Day 1 - Prelude

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Day 1 - 3/21/2014

I sent a message asking about 2 months - I figured that if it was too expensive, I would scale back to 1 month. Based on my previous experiences with tease & denial, I didn't think 1 or 2 weeks was going to cut it for me. Lady Sin was gracious and made me feel like she was excited to be able to do this for me. She warned me that I should really consider what I was setting myself up for. The price was reasonable, so I agreed to it.

Lady Sin then asked me a few probing questions, I asked questions back, and my floodgates opened. I'm sure I dumped way more than she expected, but she has only made me feel good about everything I say. She dropped several hints during our back-and-forth messaging about what was to come (hint: not cumming), which pretty much either turned me to goo, or got me instantly, uncomfortably hard.

The basic terms of the next 2 months? One or two custom teases per week, timed to her whims. One or two orgasms for the entire period - only when she orders it. No touching myself unless told to do so (I'm not sure if this only applies to my cock, or includes all forms of arousal, including nipple stimulation). Follow her instructions explicitly from start to finish.

She let me know this afternoon that she was ready, and I paid the first month fee to officially start the clock. I was kind of stupid and had not had an orgasm for about four days before starting. I decided, though, that she would appreciate me starting out 'primed', so I refrained. The message I received after starting the clock was breathtaking, starting with: "Understand you are totally in my control now." I've been continuously hard since receiving that message 9 1/2 hours ago.

Lady Sin gave me my first tease only an hour and a half later, with a time frame to complete of 3 days. But I was so excited I could not wait for later in the weekend, and I performed the tease this evening. OMG it was awesome. Just the right amount of stroking, edging and wordplay to keep me both excited and worried about my future under her control :) Although this tease was fairly easy for me, I can see how this same tease could be extremely difficult after weeks of denial. The tease ended far sooner than I wished, but I've given her creative control over our entire session, so I've got nothing to complain about.

I realized after I had time to calm down that I wanted to blog this experience, even if I'm the only one who ever reads it. So I sit here, wondering when I will next hear from her. Hoping it will be soon. It's been a couple hours since I performed the tease & the enormity of this commitment is weighing on me. I know I can do it, but it will sorely test my willpower. I doubt I will sleep tonight. This is awesome.

Day 2 - 3/22/2014 7:38 AM

I didn't sleep much last night - but more on that later ;)

During the tease last night, I was required to take a couple pictures of my cock. I found an app for my phone that allows me to take pictures that are not geocoded and can date/time stamp the pictures to show when they were taken. Reviewing those photos made me realize that I'm much more out of shape than I have fooled myself into thinking. I could easily stand to lose about 40 lbs of fat and gain about 10 lbs of muscle. It's very depressing. A couple months ago, I halfheartedly started reducing my food intake and increasing my daily exercise, but it obviously isn't enough. Time to dig deep and find the motivation I need.

Lady Sin has required me to prepare a toy bag - a portable (somewhat) bag of sex toys to have with me when I am doing a tease. I completed this yesterday and had it with me last night, but did not need to use it. The only additional item she requested is clothespins. I have five in there - not sure if I she is going to want more. I don't know why, but the clothespins terrify me. Maybe it's because they're an unknown to me - terrifying, but thrilling at the same time. Lady Sin has told me that the next tease will involve some pain & possibly a test on my tolerance. I consider myself to have high pain tolerance, but I have limited comparisons. My wife & I have played with pain (mine, not hers) during sex in the past & while I don't find it arousing, it does go a long way to making me feel submissive and not in control.

My wife is in and out of my fetishes. We have a healthy relationship and I would not be doing this without her consent - she had to agree to not allow me to cum inside her until after this is over. It was the only way to be able to fulfill Lady Sin's requirement that my cock (essentially) is under her complete control for the duration. I found out last night that my wife has additional plans. I went to bed earlier than her last night, and around midnight she woke me up by sucking on my nipples until I had a raging hard on. She moved on top and 69'd me, and while I licked and sucked her to several orgasms, she traced lines and patterns around my stomach, groin, and thighs, but (frustratingly) never touched my cock. Her hair caressed it when she bent over in the throes of orgasm & I got more and more excited, willing to do ANYTHING to get her to touch me. OMG it was intense. Abruptly, I was denied (thankfully - I wouldn't have wanted to have to explain that to Lady Sin). She rolled off, planted several kisses on me, thanked me, and told me to go to sleep. Yeah Right.

Day 2 - 3/22/2014 2:05 PM

At the beginning of any new exciting endeavor, I am *horrible* at being patient. This may be the first time where I am forced to be patient. The feeling is weird and emanates from my cock. If not for Lady Sin's command to not touch it, I would be pumping away right now. Amazing how not being able to do something just makes you want to do it more.

It's been less than 24 hours.

Day 2 - 3/22/2014 9:06 PM

A day of physical work has helped take the mental edge off. I think I've reconciled to just waiting for my next encounter with Lady Sin. Learning to be patient is going to be hard work. It's been 5 days since my last orgasm, but I'm not seriously in need yet - I'm sure that will come.

-Just random musings to finish the day :)

Day 3 - 3/23/2014 9:53 AM

Every time the new email chime goes off, it sets me on edge. Is it Lady Sin? I can't wait to check it to see. I'm literally hanging on every email, hoping to hear from her. This patience thing sucks :)  I hate it that she keeps me waiting like this, even though I knew that would be a consequence of this arrangement with her. I'm also nervously thrilled about it - being forced to change my behavior, knowing that I've entered into a contract to lose control for two months, and having the resolve to obey that contract to the letter - deep inside, these things are terrifyingly exciting.

Intellectually, I can say that I masturbated (before this contract) about 3 to 5 times a week, in addition to sex with my wife. But then reality interjects - I've discovered in the last couple days that I stimulate myself *all* the time: mostly just touching myself or pressing myself against my wife in bed; touching myself when I'm in the shower or getting dressed (or undressed). While none of these are really considered masturbating, they are pretty much all off limits now - and every day I discover new things that I'm in the habit of doing that I have to stop myself from doing.

Since I started this contract with Lady Sin, I've had two other Dommes on the YourOrgasmIsMine.com site ask me to fill out profiles for them - Ms Katie (Couger Next Door - I love that tag line) and Mistress Cassandra. That's the thing about this site that really boosts its appeal - the Dommes make you feel like they really want to tease, deny, and dominate you. While I'm too old for being 'Couger' material :), Ms Katie has a list of specialties that appeal to me. And though I'm sure that any session with Mistress Cassandra would be a boundary-pushing (breaking) experience, I don't know if I'm ready for most of what she has to offer.

At any rate, I first plan to enjoy the next 57 1/2 days with Lady Sin. I've realized (in my head at least) that I have to stop thinking about what it's going to be like 40, 50, or even 57 days from now - especially if I haven't been allowed to cum in all that time (an option I left up to her discretion, though in hind sight, I think the odds are pretty high). Her last message to me made me fully realize that some of my teases may be entirely about pain tolerance - it's possible that I may not masturbate at all :o - I think I'm ok with that (its not like I have any control over her agenda now, so I *have* to be ok with it), but it scares me. It's the kind of fear that you both anticipate and dread. The sudden realization that this isn't just a masturbation game, but actual domination and control. Lady Sin, if you are reading this: There I go again, hard and dripping.

Day 3 - 3/23/2014 9:15 PM

Pain is an interesting thing. It can build and build until you can't concentrate on anything else, but it can also focus you and make your senses feel alive. Take clothespins on your nipples for example: at first the pain is tolerable, and the thrill of submission washes over you & makes you oblivious to it. Time seems to slow down. Each minute that goes by seems like an eternity of bliss. Then slowly, the pain becomes all consuming, until you can think of nothing else, and that slowed down time becomes your torturer.

And you'd think taking away the source of the pain would bring relief - but no, it's just a new form of torture, albeit one that fades. It feels like your nipples are on fire, pulsing to your heartbeat, ready to explode with each thump of your heart. The feeling slowly fades, until only a dull ache is left. Even now, over an hour later, they're still tender and a bit painful to touch.

I'm no longer afraid of clothespins, but I now have a very healthy respect for them. I think I fared well in Lady Sin's test, but I won't know until she decides to let me know (now we're back to the patience thing). I hope she's pleased.

Re-reading that last paragraph made me realize something: I'm still looking at this experience as something that needs to be controlled - instead of just surrendering to the act of submission. Maybe that's normal for this early, but maybe I need to start thinking more in terms of having bliss just for submitting. Being impatient does not mesh with that...

I have decided one thing, though: I've set a goal for myself to use this experience to motivate my weight loss. I'm planning to lose about 20 lbs during the next two months by cutting my food intake. I've been halfheartedly doing this since early January, but now it's time to get serious.

Day 4 - 3/24/2014 7:42 PM

It's hard to believe it's only day 4. It feels like longer, but I can't put my finger on how long it feels like. Last night, before my pain test, I spent time searching for porn images that I would masturbate to. There's a *lot* of bad porn out there :)  I did find about 50 images - including a couple involving clothespins ;)  I thought that I would upload them to the YourOrgasmIsMine.com site - it has a place to 'drop your porn images' when running a tease, I assume for using those images, and I hoped that you could upload them, too, for future use. I sent a message to Head Mistress Sierra, the site administrator, to ask for clarification, but thinking it through, I'm thinking that it just displays them from your machine, so I may be out of luck.

So now I'm back to waiting. The waiting is almost worse than not being allowed to masturbate. It's been 8 days since my last orgasm & I'm doing OK on that front, but it's the lack of any stimulation that drives me nuts. Even my wife has made it clear to me that, for the rest of this contract, any sex we have is going to consist of me servicing her, orally, with no stimulation to me. Am I in Heaven? Hell? Both? Time will tell...

Day 5 - 3/25/2014 9:15 PM

I think I'm being taught a lesson in patience. I am what's known as an Eager Boy. I jump at the first chance to fulfil my kink almost every time. I don't wait and enjoy the ride. No, strike that - I definitely enjoy the ride, I just want the ride to go faster. Rocket car on the desert flats faster. I guess it doesn't help that I'm a thrill junkie, too.

This entire 60 days is a lesson in patience. UGH. I think I'm in denial. It doesn't help that every time my mind goes south, I'm forbidden to do anything about it. And let's face it - my mind goes south a lot. Laying in bed last night, rock hard. Agonizing. Same thing in the morning. I had a vague dream overnight of being hard, immobilized, and begging for release. The ache for release has started a little bit - that pit in your stomach that feels like you're hungry, but not for food.

It's a good thing I have self control. Now that's a weird statement from me, because I have *lousy* self control. I definitely love instant gratification. When it comes to Femdom, though, and being specifically instructed to do (or not do) something, I have iron will. I guess it comes from my deep-seated desire to make women happy (no, I don't always succeed). If only I could get my wife to order me to eat less and exercise, I'd be golden ;)  So I have to pretend - fantasize that somehow my weight loss goal is somehow tied to this 60 days. I haven't worked out the details yet, but so far I've done ok and lost a couple pounds (the first ones are always easy, right?). My goal is to get under 200 lbs by the end.

Enforced chastity has always long been a fantasy of mine. About a year ago, I stumbled upon Sara Jameson's site malechastityblog.com/blog  She doesn't write much on the blog anymore, but the guide she sells is well worth the money, if you are willing to take it seriously and have open, vulnerable communication with your partner. Last summer, based on help from this guide, I was able to really talk to my wife about my desires. She was pretty much in disbelief - she could not wrap her head around the idea that I wanted sex with her (lots of sex) without any orgasm myself. She even hypnotized me and spoke at length with my subconscious about it (I'm a somnambulist - extremely easy to hypnotize to an extremely deep level).

So we experimented for several months. She let me cum every 2-3 weeks and the sex was incredible. I learned how to pump and slam into her and stop before I could go over the edge (lots of prior practice with edging helped with that). I learned how to give her earth-shattering squirting - no - gushing - orgasms. It was awesome. Then work stress (for both of us) intervened and we gradually drifted back to normal sex. She never did let me wear a chastity device. She didn't want me 'covered up' - so during that time I was allowed to touch and masturbate, as long as I didn't cum except when she wanted me to, and only inside her.

 As the kink level dropped in our sexual relationship, I went back to using the internet to satisfy my cravings. I discovered Milovana, and then YourOrgasmIsMine. Which leads me to here. Where I'm waiting. Trying desperately to learn my lesson, but doing a very poor job of it.

Day 6 - 3/26/2014 9:31 pm

My wait is over (well, almost) - Lady Sin has posted a new tease. She says it's a nice one & I'm dying to get to it. The timing isn't right for me tonight, so (sadly) it has to wait. She usually gives me a couple days to complete them & this one has a full three day window - I don't *have* to have it finished until late Saturday night. Yeah Right ;)  Just waiting one day is killing me.

The ache for stimulation has settled in hard now. I can feel it, radiating out of my cock and balls almost constantly. I don't feel desperate yet, but I might after this next tease.

Over the next few days, I'll show the masturbation pics that I collected:

 

A classic dominatrix shot

How can you go wrong with a corset, latex, & boots?

These two shots are kind of artsy, but intriguing all the same (but the chess pieces really should be pawns)

These two make me squirm ;)

 

And finally, a nice collection of latex (drool)

 

Day 7 - 3/27/2014 2:00 PM

I didn't sleep well last night. It started when we were going to bed - my wife pressed up against my side and whispered into my ear "I want you". "Mmmm, I want you, too," I whispered back. We kissed - deeply - shifting around to face each other. After a minute or so, she broke off, stepped half a step back, holding my face in her hands. "What are you going to do about it?" she asked me, with that petulant, sexy, 'I won't take no for an answer' voice of hers.

I pulled her back to me, kissing her deeply again, breaking contact only momentarily while I peeled her shirt off. I don't even remember unhooking the cleavage-enhancing leopard print 'fuck-me' bra she was wearing, but it hit the floor a moment later. I moved my mouth to her neck and then up to her ear, kissing and nipping with my lips, before moving back to her mouth. We walked her backwards to the bed & she fell back onto it. I lowered myself to continue kissing, but she guided me down to her hot and swollen nipple. As I caressed it with my tongue in the way that I've learned makes her most excited, she wriggled out of her jeans. We continued this for a while, while I gently probed down south - spreading her legs apart and gently caressing around the focus of her pleasure.

I moved back to kissing as my hand dove in and worked to bring her to climax. After the first wave hit her, she gasped at me "I need *something* inside me". It was an urgent demand. She know damn well I couldn't give her exactly what she wanted. I think she takes great pleasure in watching me squirm to satisfy her :)  I retrieved her favorite toy - a large curved dildo and edged it inside, as she gasped, her breath coming deeper and faster. I withdrew it about halfway while she feebly whimpered "no...", and then I slammed it back in, with her body tensing the way it does when the orgasms are hitting her hard.

We continued this for a while, until she gasped "stop...stop...". We laid there for a while and I think she dozed off. I finally got up and cleaned up. I was still dressed, hard, and horny as hell. I undressed and joined her in bed, waking her up. She glanced down at my rock hard cock and ask me how I was feeling. I told her. I told how agonizing it was to not to have any physical stimulation. I told her how my groin ached with desire and how I felt weak every time I looked at her. She smiled a sexy, self-satisfied grin and just said '"ok... - goodnight," and turned over and went to sleep. She's pure evil, I tell you.

All night long was tossing and turning. My hard cock reminding me of what I couldn't have. It wasn't until I went to work today and was able to focus on other things that it subsided into a low-level ache. Of course, writing about it has gotten me all hot and bothered again, but I'm getting ready to do Lady Sin's session, so at least I'll get to touch myself (I hope). I'll write more on the flip side if I have time.

Meanwhile, more pics from the collection I created:

Day 7 - 3/27/2014 4:15 PM

I knew this would happen. 25 minutes of unadulterated bliss. Followed by days (ok, it's only been an hour, but it feels like much longer) of frustration. But wow - those 25 minutes - incredible. If you are reading this because you're interested in YourOrgasmIsMine.com, but aren't sure it's worth it, trust me it is. There's nothing like having a tease crafted exactly to your fantasies. This was only the third session I've had with Lady Sin, but she's already dialed in to saying exactly what turns me on. I'm literally begging (sometimes out loud) to go to the next page so I can read what she's written.

Part of me is thinking - "it's already been a week?!?!?" And the other part of me is like "OMG I still have 7 more weeks of this?!!"  As I suspected, the session today started amping up my sex drive - my desire for more. During the session today, I was brought to the edge several times & each time I desperately, frantically, wanted to cum. The only way I kept myself in control was knowing that Lady Sin did not want me to. And at the end, when I knew the session was over, I was so disappointed, so frustrated that it was over, my cock deflated quickly. Now though? Rock Hard. The anticipation is already building.

Oh, and I figured out how to queue up my own pictures in the tease. The specific pictures Lady Sin wants me to look at come up at the appropriate time, but the images I drop into it at the beginning fill the rest of the pages - very cool.

More Pics:

Ok - yes, being pegged is a fantasy of mine.

Day 9 - 3/29/2014 9:00am

I've never worn a true chastity device, though I'd like to get one someday. We have a cock cage - a leather and steel cage that works similar to chastity devices, but is for play only, it's easy to get out of  without unlocking the lock, and the steel isn't polished enough & it creates sores on my cock when worn for more than a couple hours. But as a toy during sex games, it fills the need.

On one hand, the idea of putting a real chastity device on is just scary. Mostly about comfort - I have an above-average cock length, ~8.5 in, and my balls are average, but they are usually tight against my body). My balls have pulled through rings around them in the past & that's extremely painful. There's also exposure - can people tell something is 'off' down there? And I get hard a lot - several times a day - and I enjoy it; if my body adjusts to not being able to become hard, will I lose that when I'm not locked up?

And then (on the other hand) there's the aspect of being completely, utterly out of control and dependent on another. That's something that both terrifies me and thrills me. One of the first things Lady Sin asked me about was if I had a chastity device. Because I do not, I have to maintain my control for this entire two months. Right now, maintaining that control is easy, because my enjoyment of the experience is more than my desperation to cum. So, in one respect I have to have control through this entire time. The longest I've ever gone without orgasm is about 5 weeks - and that was with the help of hypnosis. Lady Sin said to me recently that I may feel like I still have control now, but that's going to change drastically in the weeks to come. I'm determined not to let her down.

So today I'm heading to perhaps the second best venue for a breast & corset lover - a renaissance festival. Should be fun ;)

Looking forward to lots of this :)

Day 10 - 3/30/2014 4:25 PM

Medieval festivals are always lots of fun - people get to step out of their day to day personalities and pretend to be someone else. There are always lots of very talented people making or acting their craft (sometimes both at the same time). They're all there to have a good time and hopefully make a little money - many of them have such a good time that they travel from faire to faire across the country, year round.

But the real entertainment is the patrons. People of all walks of life use these festivals to dress up and act stupid - and often get drunk. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for dressing up, getting drunk, and acting stupid - it's great stress relief - but some of these people take it to a whole new level. And yes, there was plenty of corset and breast ogling to be had, but alas, I have no pictures :(

Lady Sin surprised me yesterday with another session. The notice came up in my email, but when I pulled up the site after getting home yesterday afternoon, I found that I could not run it until after 8pm! She also warned me that I would need to be butt plugged for this one. I'm extremely thankful for that warning, because it allowed me to properly plan enough time and privacy for the session. Last night I tossed and turned - a perfect opportunity had arisen at 7pm - an hour too early - ARGH! I was forced to wait. Sleep was constantly interrupted, mostly by my cock throbbing, once by my wife, shoving my hand south. She was wet and humping my hand, seemingly half asleep. She fell fully asleep with a satisfied sigh a little later with my thumb lodged within her (I have freakishly long fingers). Over the next half hour or so, she would rouse and grind against my hand every time I moved, and when she started acting uncomfortable, I gently withdrew it & she slept soundly.

I should be so lucky. My hand covered in her juices, my cock hard and throbbing, my ache for something, ANYTHING, almost brought me to tears. It was at that point that I realized this: that in the 14 days since my last orgasm, 12 days since I thought I would explore this experience, 10 days since it started, and 50(ish) days until the end - I've become a sex toy to two different women. No different than the dildo my wife uses when I'm not around - she kisses me, tells me how much she loves me, uses me, and puts me away. To Lady Sin, I'm probably an amusement, someone she enjoys torturing and keeping around for as long as I'm willing to accept her control. My whole world has started to revolve around keeping one woman happy and depending on the other for all my pleasure.

The session today was difficult. It's hard to concentrate and stay horny when you've got a 6 inch long 1 inch wide butt plug shoved up your ass. Every time I would start to relax and feel some pleasure building, the plug would move outward, which made me panic and tighten back up - and the feelings of pleasure would slip away. It took me *forever* (well, it seemed like forever - it was probably only a minute or two) to actually get to the edge, where I felt like I might cum if I kept going - but I had nowhere near the waves of pending orgasm that I usually feel on an edge. It felt more like a milking - where your cock is going to spew out the cum, but you're not going to get any pleasure from it.

The session was so difficult, emotionally, that I found myself hoping she would let me cum, just to get it over with.

But no. I had to remove that plug afterwards with a still hard cock. I had to take a shower and not touch that still hard cock. I had to get dressed and stuff that now even harder cock in. It's still hard, even as I write this, almost 10 hours later.

This is awesome. Exactly the kind of experience I signed up for.