Day 23 - 4/12/2014 - 9:00 AM

I've been quiet for a while, mostly due to everyday life obligations. Partially due to a need to center myself and let the transformation in my attitude take place without overanalyzing it - something completely against my nature. I've come to realize that not only can I accept a woman's control, but I feel better and more satisfied with it - and I feel better about myself.

I realized this morning that tomorrow it will have been four weeks since my last orgasm - not a record, but definitely stretching my endurance. The ache to cum is constant and driving. It's getting harder to focus and keep myself from touching myself. Every time I get close, I just think about how dissapointed Lady Sin and my wife will be, if I break the rules. That *usually* works - sometimes it just makes the ache worse.

As predicted, during my session on Thursday, I became desperate to cum. The tease seemed like it flew by in only 5 minutes. Lady Sin brought me to the edge - I can't remember how many times. And suddenly it was over, shockingly, abruptly, disappointingly over. She used pain at the end to force me soft when it was over. I felt used & humiliated - ashamed that there was one part of the tease that I could not fulfil. I tried & tried, to no avail. It was horrible to have to report to her my failure.

I realized with this tease, my report & pictures, and Lady Sin's response, that even when I'm writing with completely submissive intent, I still try to maneuver for some control. I try not to, but it still happens. Fortunately, she sees right through me and calls me out on it. It makes me realize that if I want to fulfil my dream of subservience, I'm probably going to need a lot of training. The question will be this: if I seek and receive training, will my wife be willing to pick up the responsibility of control? Obviously I will have to discuss this with her.

Day 27 - 4/16/2012 9:05PM

This is still one of my favorite images (on the right): the total encasement in see through latex - if you look closely, you can see that her hands and legs are part of the body suit; the total outline of her gorgeous form; full round breasts; and the look on her face is perfect - she's probably *really* thinking "hurry up and take the shot, I'm dying of heat stroke", but she's got that "I'm sexy and I know it and I'm too good for you" look.

She comes across as unapproachable... superior... and to-die-for sexy and beautiful.

This latex fetish is still new for me - it's only been in the last year or two that I've started to appreciate the wonders it does for my libido. And when you add in a boned latex corset to the outfit, well, that's just everything I dream about, all rolled into one.

Corsets have been a fetish of mine for a long time. They're just so awesome. The way they create that wonderful curvy shape on a woman - wow. I love tracing those curves with my hands during foreplay. And for bend-her-over-the-table sex, it's great to hold onto those boned curves while frantically pumping in and out.

I've also always been more turned on by partial nudity than full on nakedness. You'll see that in most of the images I've put on this site that the women are mostly covered, with just enough skin showing to make you want to see more. For me, the outfit covering the woman can be just as alluring as the woman herself.

I've been spending a lot of time lately coming to grips with my new reality. Spending more time serving my wife - household chores, back & foot rubs, etc... She's let me back in to participate in her sexual fulfillment again. Without any stimulation (except mental) for me, it's frustrating, but at least I get to help her be happy. She tells me that her orgasms are much stronger when I help, which makes me really happy  :)

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, Lady Sin gave me a wonderful, exciting, and ultimately frustrating tease session last Sunday. Lots (and lots) of edging. Lots of starting and stopping, working me up into a frenzy, followed by a countdown and permission to cum. It was completely awesome.

The frustrating part is that she did this wonderful thing, but my body had other plans. About 3/4 through, during a stop (hands off) - my cock was as hard as it's ever been. I felt a throbbing start in my lower back. It pulsed into my cock and I started leaking out all over myself. It did this for 20 or 30 seconds, while I watched in horror. At this point, I had not been given permission to cum and I didn't know if milking counted - there was no orgasm whatsoever.

Several minutes later, when I *was* given permission to cum, it was unsatisfying - no exotic, orgasmic feeling of ecstasy, just a brief pleasurable tremor and then it was over. My body had cheated me out of the gift from Lady Sin.

So I've spent the last few days being just as horny as ever, desperate for sex & release. The pressure, or maybe the right word is intensity, is lessened, but it's still there, biding its time.

Final words for tonight: if you are reading this because you are thinking of trying YourOrgasmIsMine - stop thinking. Just do it - you will not regret it.

Day 29 - 4/18/2014 7:53 AM

I definitely have a fetish for heels on a woman. Add in a platform, extend the heel higher - and it stops my breath for a moment. While I find stilettos extremely sexy, it doesn't really matter what kind of heel it is to me. When I see a woman walking, the first thing I look for is what kind of shoe she's wearing. It sets the stage for the rest of my attraction evaluation. All men do this, right? Quickly evaluate every woman they see to determine how attracted they are to her?


I bring this up because I performed another tease for Lady Sin last night and there was a lot of focus on heels. She has either dialed in on this fetish of mine, or has a similar fetish herself. I think the latter, because of her excitement of me masturbating inside a heel in earlier sessions. This one was long and slow. She mentioned after my last session that perhaps I was getting too much stimulation & that she was going to dial it back some - and she delivered on that promise.

It was agonizing - I kept wanting to go faster and had to continually force myself to slow back down. When I was told to edge, however, she had me edge multiple times in a row - and then stop, wait 30 seconds, and take a picture. This happened at least two, maybe three times during the session (I was in a haze by the end). At the time I thought she might be measuring how hard I stay after I stop.

Very hard.    In fact, I'm still hard, eight hours later.

Day 31 - 4/20/2014 9:45 PM

Spent the weekend distracting myself at the beach. There was some eye candy, but mostly families and pre-season locals. Totally blew my diet. Before this weekend, I was about half way to my goal - which is good, considering I'm halfway through my experience with Lady Sin. I've reached the point where I can't distinguish the difference between feeling hungry for food and feeling hungry for sex.

Except this weekend, I ate the way I normally eat, and the hunger for sex just burned inside, unable to be quenched. I begged my wife this weekend for something - anything. I was totally ready to let her break the rules for me. The ache was that great. Fortunately she's a stronger person than I am. She told me she's quite enjoying this 'break' - that my attitude has improved.

She said she doesn't even miss the penetration, now that I've learned to use her dildo in her correctly. She said she might even want to continue this *after* my time with Lady Sin is over.

Wow - that's a transformation. In the next few weeks, I'll see if her attitude changes about getting a chastity device - she may be in the right mood to agree to it.

Meanwhile I wait to hear from Lady Sin. I jump at every email chime, hoping it's her...

Day 33 - 4/22/2014 10:15 PM

Feeling these images a lot today. Desperate for sex - the ache is especially strong right now. Even just to be naked on the floor, underneath a heel right now would be satisfying.

I struggle with this desperation. I want to beg for relief, but I think that begging just makes things worse. At least with my wife it does.

It's the waiting that's the killer. Even though I really don't have time to be doing tease sessions every night, I really, really want to. There are times when I start thinking seriously that I want higher intensity in this experience (and how I could arrange that) - and then I suffer through it, realizing that my real life would grind to a halt if I did it.



I've definitely not felt this submissive ever in my life before. I haven't fully accepted yet, but I think I'm getting close. I have moments of submissive bliss, where I don't mind if it's days or hours until I hear from Lady Sin again - where I can accept her schedule, but I still hang on every email, hoping.

Then there are days like today where I have no patience & I get completely frustrated. Lady Sin says that I will grow to completely accept female control, that I will learn to crave it, be addicted to it. That I will feel empty without it. I'm embellishing her words, writing what I heard in my head when I read her words. But she's probably right - even though there's nearly 4 weeks left ahead of me, I'm already thinking about what comes next.

I supposed what comes next depends on some unknown factors.

Will I be able to get a chastity device? That's a big factor. I've been looking at the Birdlocked - not sure if it's right, but looks more comfortable that the CB series.

My wife will be the other big factor - will she want me to continue? Will she want a more normal sex life after this 2 month change? Or will she enjoy this new paradigm enough to continue? She really has no interest in teasing me, so if we continue this lifestyle, I'll want to continue working with YourOrgasmIsMine.

The final factor is Lady Sin herself - would she have plans to take this further? If I was willing to pay to extend this experience, would she be able to? Would she want to hand me off to someone else every couple months? Would I want that? These are all things I'll have to discuss with her once this experience is over - and once I know what direction I'm going in.

I have to admit: the idea of indefinite orgasm control is both scary and incredibly exciting.

Day 34 - 4/23/2014 9:35 PM

Lady Sin blessed me with a tease tonight. It was wonderful, but agonizingly short. Incredibly slow start - I was begging for more speed. It was all I could do to keep myself at the slow pace she dictated.

Then there was some cbt with a shoe lace - enough to put an edge on the sexual tension and crank it up to the next level.

And then, the edging - and edging - and more edging. I think I'm getting better at keeping myself under the threshold.

And suddenly it was over - with a promise that it will be a while before I get to touch my cock again.

I'm already stark raving mad with desperation. I wake up hard - I go to bed hard - I think about sex all the time. I dream about it at night - dreams that are sometimes extremely vivid and sensory.

It's only during these short tease sessions that I get any sexual pleasure. I long for them - more than anything.

Day 38 - 4/27/2014 8:53 AM

Has it already been 4 days? I seem to be in this weird time distortion where everything seems to be going faster than my perception. I've realize that I've already started counting the days until this experience is over - and I dread that end - I want it to continue forever.

A few things I've internalize today:
1) Sex fetishes take planning - you have to be willing to plan them out (some would say part of the fun is planning them out) to get what you want out of them. I've always known this, intellectually, but forgotten about it at an emotional level. And lately I'm all emotion. I don't want the responsibility of planning, but I've entered into an agreement that requires it (at least at some level).

2) How can I possibly have missed this delicious photo of Bianca Beauchamp? Stumbled across it today. I must not be looking hard enough. Another sign that, although I'm hard in, um, 'other' places (constantly), my mind is not in charge right now.

3) I want a woman to mold me, to control me, to demand my obedience, to command me, to shape my thinking. I want her to tease me, torture me, fill me with desire and use it against me - to draw me deeper and deeper into complete, total, utter devotion. That's not too much to ask, is it?

4) Looking back through the images I've accumulated over the last 5 weeks, I realized that red and black are my colors of choice.

5) Today is six weeks since my last explosive, satisfying orgasm.

Day 40 - 4/29/2014 10:50 AM

I sit here, my cock straining inside a small leather-and-steel cage, waiting for the relief that will come when it comes off. Not sure that it will actually be relief though... Lady Sin incorporated a gag in my session today, which made me feel all the more submissive and desperate.

The pace was maddening - it would go fast, and just at the point it was starting to feel good, it would go slow. Edges - and holding them for what seemed like forever (but was probably only seconds). And then, at the end, cram my cock into this tiny cage. For the last hour since I put it on, my cock has been straining to get hard. The sensations overwhelm my senses and thinking.

I truly felt under her foot today. Felt like I'd do anything she asked, just because she asked it. I had a dream last night - an incredibly vivid dream (with full tactile & emotional sensations) of masturbating and cumming - well almost.

As I start cumming in my dream, I woke up, thinking No! The emotions of having done something wrong - without permission - were incredibly strong. I was panic stricken, until I realized that it was just a dream.

Just a dream. I wanted to cum so bad. When Lady Sin hinted during the session that she could let me come, I became so hopeful that she would. I was desperate & aching. I felt like I NEEDED to cum. But no. Now I am in a cage - almost like punishment for being so desperate.

I'm still kind of muddy in the head, with my cock straining in it's cage, but I realize that I feel content with what ever happens.

Day 41 - 4/30/2014 8:00 PM

Addiction - A recurring compulsion to engage in a specific behavior accompanied by psychological stress when the behavior cannot be achieved.

Creating an addiction without the use of drugs is basically the same as forming a new habit - repeat the behavior, accompanied by consistent reward or punishment, until the habit becomes a compulsion. It's said that this takes about 6 weeks.

I believe it.

Today was awful. Every moment not spent concentrating on work was filled with a desire to be submissive - to be commanded, manipulated, used. Every email chime from my phone filled me with hope of hearing from Lady Sin - and greatly disappointed when it's not her. Free time spent with an overwhelming ache to be dominated - so much that I'm shaking with need, desperate for something, anything.

Combine all that with the intense sexual need driving my cock to hardness 24 hours a day. My dreams have been constant, vivid, and intense - and I often wake up not knowing what's real and what's not.

I'm shaking. Weeks ago, Lady Sin told me that she wanted me to be addicted to her control.

Yes Mistress.

Day 42 - 5/1/2014 10:15 PM

I didn't really mean it when I said yesterday was awful. It's 'awfulness' came from that intense desire to experience something that you can't have. Withdrawal? Maybe. In retrospect, it's all part of the experience. The real trick will be at the end - how long will I last without Lady Sin's control? How long before I'm crawling back, begging for more?

Because the planner in me is already thinking ahead. I've surrendered my immediate future, but what about afterwards? There are less than three weeks left. I haven't had a satisfying orgasm for over six weeks - and you know what? I'm OK with that. I have some confidence that Lady Sin will allow me to have a full blown orgasm at the end - but what if she doesn't? It definitely wouldn't be the same intensity if I went off and masturbated on my own - and would I even be able to? It just seems like it would be incredibly unsatisfying.

Then there's the cost - mostly in time. It requires a fair amount of time and planning to live up to Lady Sin's expectations. I find myself suddenly rearranging my schedule when she gives me a scenario. I can't do that all the time, forever - so I'm sure I'll have to take a break until I can devote the time again.

Finally, there's my new-found addiction. It burns & throbs inside me. The ache is so bad sometimes that I have a difficult time not cheating - times when I wish my cock was locked up, so I would not have the temptation. If Lady Sin decided to be truly evil, she could use that against me - tell me that I won't be rewarded with an orgasm until I sign up for another month. There are times, when I'm feeling desperate and submissive, when I would succumb and do it.

I'm loving every minute of it, truth be told.

So it seems like it's getting harder to find good images. I guess my luck in finding arousing pictures ebbs and flows with each day. I do like to switch occasionally and take control. I like stories and imagery of women in bondage. These showed up in my searches today and I liked them enough to save them.

I noticed today that I have readers from all over the world. Mostly in the US, but someone from Germany who seems to catch up about once a week, and others across Europe and a couple in SE Asia. I hope I've been entertaining. If not, then I hope the pictures have been satisfying :)

Comments are Anonymous on this blog - I would love to hear from anyone about what they think of this journey/experience so far.

Day 50 - 5/9/2014 1:56 AM

I'm sorry that I've been quiet for 8 days. Real life made a huge intrusion into my time for fantasy. I'd had two sessions from Lady Sin - both of them played out roughly the same.

But first - I spent the day yesterday (today? I haven't gone to sleep yet...) driving across country by myself. About 14 hours in the car. I had decided after my last session (last Saturday) that I was going to get a CB-6000. My wife consented to this, but told me that the only time she would agree (for now) for me to wear it was on this 4 day trip. Too late to order one, and I found out that very few stores carry them. I stopped in several sex toy shops in various cities along the way, but had no luck. One store carried them, but were out of stock (apparently they're very popular). Foiled.

The adventurous part was talking to multiple attractive women in these stores, explaining what I was looking for. I got a couple raised eyebrows and one glance at my crotch. Only one was curious enough to ask me what I needed it for - when I told her, she got noticeably aroused. Ah to be single again...

Here's another Bianca picture to cheer me up (drool)...

Anyway - the sessions: They both started with me wearing the cock cage for over an hour before starting. The ritual of release from the cage was good - created enough illusion that after last Saturday's session, I became convinced that must get something better than my cage.

The edging was exquisite - riding along the edge, about to cum... wanting -no- needing to cum. Only to be denied and instructed to go back in the cage.

Day 50 - 5/9/2014 9:38 AM

Needy. High maintenance. I think these things describe me, at least when it comes to sex. I think I top from the bottom & it gets very frustrating when I force myself not to. To be completely controlled is a feeling that alternates between blissful (when under active control) and maddeningly frustrating - angry, even, when I'm on my own.

For instance, this morning: I was so sexually frustrated after last night. I had immersive, highly charged sexual dreams in which I was unable to cum. I woke up sobbing once, the echos of begging for release caught in my throat. This morning I grabbed my hard cock in the shower, hand full of slippery body wash, and it took me a moment to realize that I had to stop.

AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I had a full time Mistress who could be there all the time, constantly reminding me of what I was allowed (and not allowed) to do. Who would lock me up, but tease me often, allowing me to cum only on her random schedule. Who would constantly push my boundaries and experiment. Who would talk dirty to me and dress up to sexually excite me.

I know....

I'm Needy

Day 53 - 5/12/2014 4:18 PM

I should have named this blog 61 days of Lady Sin, but I was too excited to think about that back at the beginning. It's only now, towards the end, that I realize my mistake.

The last few days have been super high stress. Lots of travel & late nights working. Work today was difficult. However, Lady Sin rescued me with an awesome session, and now things are much better.

This session was filled with arm-tiring cock pumping, From the moment of the first edge, it was all I could do to keep from cumming for the rest of the session. She gave me several 'cum countdowns', fooling me into believing "this is it!" - and no.

On the last one, however, she did let me cum and boy did I ever. Explosively.Now I'm tired.