Day 42 - 5/1/2014 10:15 PM

I didn't really mean it when I said yesterday was awful. It's 'awfulness' came from that intense desire to experience something that you can't have. Withdrawal? Maybe. In retrospect, it's all part of the experience. The real trick will be at the end - how long will I last without Lady Sin's control? How long before I'm crawling back, begging for more?

Because the planner in me is already thinking ahead. I've surrendered my immediate future, but what about afterwards? There are less than three weeks left. I haven't had a satisfying orgasm for over six weeks - and you know what? I'm OK with that. I have some confidence that Lady Sin will allow me to have a full blown orgasm at the end - but what if she doesn't? It definitely wouldn't be the same intensity if I went off and masturbated on my own - and would I even be able to? It just seems like it would be incredibly unsatisfying.

Then there's the cost - mostly in time. It requires a fair amount of time and planning to live up to Lady Sin's expectations. I find myself suddenly rearranging my schedule when she gives me a scenario. I can't do that all the time, forever - so I'm sure I'll have to take a break until I can devote the time again.

Finally, there's my new-found addiction. It burns & throbs inside me. The ache is so bad sometimes that I have a difficult time not cheating - times when I wish my cock was locked up, so I would not have the temptation. If Lady Sin decided to be truly evil, she could use that against me - tell me that I won't be rewarded with an orgasm until I sign up for another month. There are times, when I'm feeling desperate and submissive, when I would succumb and do it.

I'm loving every minute of it, truth be told.

So it seems like it's getting harder to find good images. I guess my luck in finding arousing pictures ebbs and flows with each day. I do like to switch occasionally and take control. I like stories and imagery of women in bondage. These showed up in my searches today and I liked them enough to save them.

I noticed today that I have readers from all over the world. Mostly in the US, but someone from Germany who seems to catch up about once a week, and others across Europe and a couple in SE Asia. I hope I've been entertaining. If not, then I hope the pictures have been satisfying :)

Comments are Anonymous on this blog - I would love to hear from anyone about what they think of this journey/experience so far.