I've gone numb. Well, that's how it feels after the days and days of conflict raging in my head. I think it's because of how long Lady Sin has drawn things out since the last tease session. It's been 5 days and I don't think I've ever gone this long without any sexual encounter. I know I asked for "1 or 2" a week, but I definitely didn't realize what only 1 per week would feel like.
But in spite of that, I'm calm. I realized last night and this morning that I had turned complacent. The war isn't raging in my head anymore - both sides are just sitting on the sidelines, waiting for Lady Sin. Knowing that it really doesn't matter what I want, so I should stop agonizing over it. Will I be happy when she takes the next step? Hell yeah. Do I want it - Need it? Yes - but it's like I've reached a breakthrough with my patience. I can't say it will last - my body feels like a huge crossbow, tense, strained, waiting for her to pull the trigger. Maybe I need a massage...
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